So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize