If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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