You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
