Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
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Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
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I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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