I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
