I want to stick my p in your. b.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
