I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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