Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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