im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
