the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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