I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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