I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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