Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Dicks are not precious.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
