You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
