I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
