Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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