Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
