your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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