I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
