The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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