yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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