dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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