I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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