ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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