There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
