I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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