yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay