Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.