awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility