I got chris browned last night
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free