I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
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I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
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I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.