If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.