I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
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I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.