he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
