yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
