was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
