I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize