Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
