I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
my poor anus
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
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