You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
