So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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