My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
