When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
