And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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