Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize