so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I touched a dick in church today
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
