I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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