What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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