you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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