No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
