Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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