Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
