look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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