Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
