This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
The air taste purple.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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