porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
