and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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