What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Randomize
