i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
