I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
