yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
