just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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