He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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