Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
