The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
