im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
