He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
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Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
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he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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