I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
