Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
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