She said her name was "party"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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