Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
