god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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