3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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